The four weirdest horror movie sex scenes
Gratuitous sex scenes are a mainstay in most horror flicks, but some stick in the mind for their general WTF nature. Here are the four most bizarre scenes of intercourse, handpicked in four different categories.
This list includes consensual encounters only, so there'll be no appearances from otherwise memorable scenes such as the Midsommar fertility ritual, the Evil Dead handsy tree branches or the various penile decapitations in Teeth.
Weirdest Slasher Hookup
We all know teens in slasher films exist to have sex and then be inventively killed. But which movie has the most out-there adolescent coupling? There can be only one answer:
WINNER: Madman (1981) - hot tub scene
TP (Tony Fish) and Betsy (Gaylen Ross) are enjoying a bit of aquatic loving, unaware the murderous Madman Marz is on the prowl. The scene has distinct soft porn vibes - the song choice of Steve Horelick's 'I Don't Need Words'; the slo-mo undressing; and seemingly endless shots of the couple circling on opposite sides of the hot tub.
This all goes on for far too long, before we're thankfully treated to some POV shots of Madman Marz perving on them, and for one blissful minute we're allowed to think he's about to put a stop to all this. But nope - we then see the couple emerge from the depths, before Betsy exclaims: "I was right in the middle! You didn't let me finish!" The pair get back to it, thankfully finishing off-screen.
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Friday the 13th (2009) - A lengthy X-rated scene in which Trent (Travis Van Winkle) utters the immortal line: "You've got perfect nipple placement, baby."
You're Next (2011) - It's usually slasher victims who get it on, but sometimes the killers find all this bloodshed gets them in the mood. Who could forget the murderous Zee's (Wendy Glenn) invitation to "fuck me next to your dead mom". It's a hard pass from Felix (Nicholas Tucci), so we're deprived of the sight of them shagging next to Barbara Crampton's corpse.
Weirdest Sex Scene Resulting in Death and/or Bodily Mutilation
Sexy time is deadly in the horror genre, and many characters have gone out with a bang in more ways than one. But which gnarly, mid-coital death is the most memorable? There are quite a few to choose from.
WINNER: Brain Damage (1988) - deadly blow job
Poor Vicki Darnell is only looking for an al fresco blow job with Brian (Rick Hearst), but unfortunately what she mistakes for his sizeable genitalia is in fact the evil parasite Aylmer, who heads straight into her mouth to feast on her brain. I think we can all agree it's a hilarious way to go.
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Zombeavers (2014) - Sam (Hutch Dano) is about to cheat on his girlfriend with her best friend (again). Unluckily for him, his partner Jenn (Lexi Atkins) is now a zombeaver, and interrupts proceedings by smashing through the floor and biting his dick off.
Yummy (2019) - This modern zombie flick sees the most operatic end to a penis ever captured on film. After an inadvisable post-surgery coupling, one character first sets his manhood on fire, then freezes it until it falls off, and then is ripped apart by zombies. It's a lot.
Weirdest Sex Scene Interrupted By Mid-Coital Bodily Transformation
Don't you just hate it when your bout of lovemaking is cut short by your limbs being suddenly disarranged or your partner sprouting a massive tongue? Me too.
WINNER: Society (1989) - back-to-front Clarissa
It's impossible to talk about weird horror sex scenes without mentioning Brian Yuzna's Society. Before we even get to giant orgy freakout The Shunting, we have this steamy encounter between Bill (Billy Warlock) and Clarissa (Devin DeVasquez). Both parties appear to be thoroughly enjoying themselves, until Bill interrupts the act and leaps off the bed when he realises Clarissa's legs are on back to front.
The pair's relationship takes an even weirder turn when Clarissa offers the guy a post-coital brew. She asks: "How do you like your tea? Milk, sugar... or would you like me to pee in it?"
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A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985) - Jesse (Mark Patton) is enjoying some alone time with Lisa (Kim Myers) when he suddenly realises his tongue is massive and slimey, like the phone tongue poor old Nancy had to contend with in the original film. Horrified, he flees to hang out with his hot semi-naked best friend before fully transforming into Freddy Krueger.
The Howling (1981) - Bill (Christopher Stone) has left his girlfriend Karen at home to enjoy some outdoor lovemaking with Marsha (Elisabeth Brooks). Their copulation involves more growling than is customary - and that's because they're both turning into werewolves.
Weirdest Sex Scene Involving A Non-Human Partner
Horror characters often have diverse sexual appetites - having been known to get it on with animals and aliens. But which coupling is the most yikes?
WINNER: WolfCop (2014) - Lou's love scene
Thankfully this is probably the closest we'll get to onscreen bestiality in a mainstream horror flick. Jessica (Sarah Lind) heads to the police station for some nooky with the wolf version of Lou (Leo Fafard). Director Lowell Dean makes the scene as bizarre as possible, having Jessica turn up with a picnic basket of romantic treats and ending with the pair enjoying a post-coital cigarette.
We later discover Jessica's intentions weren't exactly straightforward, which might explain her willingness to hook up with a hairy beast. Still weird though.
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Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989) - The climax of this baffling Japanese movie sees the salaryman (Tomorô Taguchi) and the metal fetishist (Shin'ya Tsukamoto) meet in what appears to be a mix of metal-on-metal fighting and fucking. Like many moments in this film, it's hard to tell. Did I mention the salaryman has a massive drill penis?
The Untamed (2016) - This artsy Mexican flick is far from a straight-up horror film, but amid its subdued exploration of sexuality in repressive circumstances, we're gifted a strangely serious take on tentacle fetishes. Yep, the drama revolves around a tentacled alien capable of giving such ecstatic sexual pleasure you'll never go back to humans again.
Horror films aren't just about the physical sides of a relationship - here's a roundup of the 10 most disastrous horror movie couples.
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