The 10 most disastrous horror movie couples
We've ranked the ten most toxic horror movie relationships via the medium of #couplegoals Instagram posts.
Relationships almost always head south in horror films. The lucky ones just realise they're not meant to be together. The majority end up killing their significant others and/or being horrifically betrayed by them.
We're counting down from "less than desirable" to "you two should break up right now". Time to have a peek at the horror movie Instagram feed.
10) David & Alex, An American Werewolf in London (1981)
So how did you two meet? He was a backpacker in hospital recovering from a werewolf attack. She was a softly spoken nurse who quickly succumbed to his American charms.
The best part of their relationship: They're actually pretty cute together, so long as David isn't a hairy rampaging beast.
Any hangups? David's killing sprees had a surprisingly minimal impact on his love life. Alex, loyal until the end, even tries to talk werewolf David down when he's cornered by the Met police. Sadly he just wants to kill, and is shot several times.
How long did they last? Less than a month. Unfortunately the relationship could only survive the one full moon.
9) Thelma & Anya, Thelma (2017)
So how did you two meet? Thelma is an LGBTQ+ Norwegian language reimagining of Carrie, filled with moral ambiguity and intense emotion. Shy teenager Thelma is ashamed of her feelings for her classmate Anya, and her repressed desire manifests in alarming telekinetic goings on.
The best part of their relationship: There is an unbearable amount of sexual tension happening with these guys. They need to just get it on.
Any hangups? Thelma wants Anya so badly that she literally makes her pop out of existence through a shattered window.
How long did they last? They spent so long dilly dallying about their feelings that they never properly got together.
8) Ash & Linda, The Evil Dead (1983)
So how did you two meet? They were just two horny twenty-somethings taking a holiday in a creepy cabin in the woods. What could possibly go wrong?
The best part of their relationship: Ash has a brief goopy and emotional moment before he decapitates a deadite Linda. In the film it comes across as a jarring moment of schmaltziness, but we guess it shows there was something there.
And hangups? Ash's idea of a date is to hang out in an abandoned cabin with a load of his mates and he has crap taste in necklaces. All in all, he's not a model boyfriend.
How long did they last? A few months. Doubt it would have lasted too much longer without the deadites really.
7) Lucy & Tom, In Fear (2013)
So how did you two meet? In Fear is a claustrophobic, minimalist thriller in which a new couple are stalked by a malicious presence when they get lost in the forest on the way to a romantic retreat.
The best part of their relationship: Though still a bit awkward around each other, Lucy seems quite impressed by all the effort Tom is going to for her. That is until he hopelessly fucks it all up.
Any hangups? When the shit hits the fan all kinds of trust issues arise. By around halfway through the movie, these two really don't want to be around each other anymore.
How long did they last? A few weeks tops. Just wasn't meant to be guys.
6) Seth & Veronia, The Fly (1987)
So how did you two meet? Veronica, a harassed reporter, meets geeky scientist Seth at a convention and starts documenting his teleportation experiments. Unfortunately at this point Seth starts to transform into a six foot fly.
The best part of their relationship: In the early stages of his transformation into a giant insect, Seth develops extraordinary sexual stamina. Guess that's a bonus. Plus he looks like Jeff Goldblum.
Any hangups? Seth's insecurity when Veronica meets up with her ex leads to him foolishly trying the teleport himself. At the film's climax, he tries to use the teleport to splice his DNA with Veronica's to restore some of his humanity. Pretty mean really.
How long did they last? A few months. The whole insect transformation was a bit off-putting.
5) Bea & Paul, Honeymoon (2014)
So how did you two meet? They're loved up young newly-weds who sadly hadn't twigged that honeymooning in a remote cabin in the woods is a really stupid idea.
The best part of their relationship: They're young, beautiful and can't keep their hands off each other. But it doesn't take longs until the cracks start to show.
Any hangups? After Bea wanders into the wood starkers in the middle of the night, she starts to lose her memory and keep a frosty distance from Paul. But Bea's difficulties expose an ugly controlling streak and a tendency to jealousy in Paul too.
How long did they last? Officially the shortest wedding ever. We're not going to spoil the ending, but rest assured it's not happily ever after.
4) Kira & Sophia, Replace (2017)
How did you two meet? In this aesthetically stunning but patchily plotted indie thriller, Kira wakes up in her apartment with amnesia and queasy crumbling skin. Her mysterious neighbour Sophia might hold the answers. Either way, the two soon fall head over heels.
The best thing about their relationship: This is a kind of Hollywood, us-against-the-world kind of passion. But Kira must decide if she loves Sophia or murder more? She can't have both.
Any hangups? Sophia can't quite get on board with Kira's habit of peeling off strangers' skin to replace hers with. Plus there's things Sophia isn't telling her new girlfriend too.
How long did they last? Until the skin ran out. The ending of Replace is tragic, sentimental and oddly satisfying.
3) Chris & Rose, Get Out (2017)
How did you two meet? Chris and Rose had the perfect life. Until Rose suggested that Chris meet her parents...
The best thing about their relationship: To be honest, from the start you're not really shipping these two. Rose does stick up for Chris when he's confronted by a racist cop on the way to her house, but we soon learn it's all a charade.
Any hangups? It quickly transpires that Rose and her family want to kill Chris so a blind white photographer can have his body. Not very romantic.
How long did they last? This relationship couldn't end soon enough. It is very satisfying when Chris leaves Rose to die in the middle of the road. Unluckily for her, white privilege is pretty useless against gunshot wounds.
2) Owen & Abby, Let Me In (2010)
How did you two meet? Owen is a friendless preteen who befriends fellow loner Abby. He soon learns that Abby is a murderous vampire, but strangely this doesn't appear to affect their budding romance.
The best thing about their relationship: OK, they seem really cute together in the film and they both help the other to come out of their shell. But this relationship is really fucked up.
Any hangups? We learn that the man we thought was Abby's father actually used to be her childhood boyfriend. Now he's an old man who kills for her, until he outlives his usefulness. Owen is clearly destined for the same fate.
How long did they last? Probably for the rest of Owen's life. Poor guy.
1) Julia & Frank, Hellraiser (1987)
How did you two meet? Julia is married to Frank's slightly dull brother Larry, but she's haunted by the memory of the amazing sex she and Frank once had before the latter was torn apart by sadomasochist demons.
The best thing about their relationship: The sex was that good that Julia is perfectly happy to continue her relationship with Frank when he returns from the dead as a skinless mess. And she also kills several strangers so he can regain his humanity. Sweet.
Any hangups? Though we don't doubt Frank is fantastic in bed, he's clearly a despicable person. He kills Julia as soon as she's outlived her usefulness. Comittment's not really his style.
How long did they last? As sequel Hellraiser: Hellbound revealed, they do now have to spend eternity in hell together.
Ever stopped to look at the ridiculous faces characters in the Friday the 13th franchise pull when they die. We have.
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